James Fuqua's Law Jokes

A Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys

(Creating section 372: of the California State Civil Code)

§ 372.01 Any person with a valid California state Rodent, Skunk, or Predator hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational, relaxation, and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

§ 372.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted; however, the use of United States Currency as bait, in denominations of $20.00 or more is prohibited.

§ 372.03 It is unlawful to hurt or trap attorneys inside saloons, cocktail lounges, strip joints, or brothels or within one hundred (100) yards of BMW, Porsche, Mercedes Benz dealerships.

§ 372.04 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise such as a Hooker, Reporter, Accident Victim, Physician, Chiropractor for the purpose of attracting and hunting attorneys or shout; "WHIPLASH", "CLASS ACTION", or "FREE DRINKS" for such purpose.

§ 372.05 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is unlawful. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.

Nasty Larcenous Litigator4 Per day
Devious Divorce Lawyer3 Per day
Horn-rimmed Cutthroat2 Per day
Pompous Procrastinator1 Per day
Raging Environmentalist1 Per day
* (Protected - Endangered Species)

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Added 10 January 1996