James Fuqua's Law Jokes

A Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys


(Creating section 372: of the California State Civil Code)

§ 372.01 Any person with a valid California state Rodent, Skunk, or Predator hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational, relaxation, and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

§ 372.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted; however, the use of United States Currency as bait, in denominations of $20.00 or more is prohibited.

§ 372.03 It is unlawful to hurt or trap attorneys inside saloons, cocktail lounges, strip joints, or brothels or within one hundred (100) yards of BMW, Porsche, Mercedes Benz dealerships.

§ 372.04 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise such as a Hooker, Reporter, Accident Victim, Physician, Chiropractor for the purpose of attracting and hunting attorneys or shout; "WHIPLASH", "CLASS ACTION", or "FREE DRINKS" for such purpose.

§ 372.05 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is unlawful. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.

§ 372.06 BAG LIMITS PER DAY:
Nasty Larcenous Litigator4 Per day
Devious Divorce Lawyer3 Per day
Horn-rimmed Cutthroat2 Per day
Pompous Procrastinator1 Per day
Raging Environmentalist1 Per day
HONEST ATTORNEYS*(0)*
* (Protected - Endangered Species)


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Added 10 January 1996